Divine Interventions

A large part of my journey is not really about losing weight. It also includes nurturing my emotional and spiritual being. In the past few weeks I have seriously neglected my spiritual being. I've felt quite numb really. It's been some time since I've felt that way. Usually I look forward to choir practice and Sunday morning services. They light a fir in my soul, but the last few weeks I've felt distant and unmoved. Now I've come to realize that most of this has been a self inflicted pity party but a small part of me maybe has began to question my relationship with Christ. I'm quite sure that I am not the only person that has lulls like this. Be honest with yourself... Have you ever been there? Well today that fire sparked again thanks to the story of a little boy who says he has visited Heaven. If you haven't read this book I strongly suggest it. It is called "Heaven is for Real". It is a true story and is undeniably touching, but it also helps to renew that longing for a relationship with Christ. It reminded of some things that I experienced and I would like to share some of them with you. I've never shared some of these stories but as I read this book I felt the urge from above to share. When I was pregnant with my second child I truly believe I experienced a miracle from God. I had just finished nursing school and was working at a large hospital at night. I also happen to be about six months along. At a routine office visit I had blood tests run to test for possible genetic diseases. I left this visit feeling fine but three days later I was called and asked to return to speak with the doctor. When I went in for the follow up visit I found myself very nervous. I had already been diagnosed with asthma and gestational diabetes but I was. It prepared for came next. The intern entered my room and laid my test results down on the table. He began to explain that my results had not been good. I had a positive results for Downs Syndrome. I sort of tuned him out as he was describing the disease an possible severity but promptly came back to reality when he began to discuss medical termination of pregnancy. I was enraged! I through him out of the room and began to cry uncontrollably. This was my child. I could feel the movements. I had talked to the baby, sang to the baby, and had most certainly bonded with this baby. I was angry. Angry at the suggestion and also angry with God for having to make this choice. I quickly realized though that there truly was never an actual choice to begin with. I was going to have this child regardless of what challenges I may face. I had been given this child for a reason. An amniocentesis was scheduled for the next week and I was sent home. That week was filled with sadness, anger, and nervousness. I had many conversations with God that week. Some were humble. Some were filled with bargains I was willing to make. Some were full of rage and uncertainty. It was difficult to work and continue to worry about my unborn child. Nevertheless I continued with my regular schedule of things. I had a shift the night before the procedure so I was lying down. I was in what I would call a dream state. You know when you open your eyes but you are not really completely awake. The sun was just beginning to set so it was beginning to get dark in the room. I opened my eyes and I saw the outline of a man standing over me. Startled at first I just shut my eyes and the felt a warmth and calmness come over me. I continued to keep my eyes shut and I felt two hands surround my protruding abdomen. Still calm I felt my abdomen contract for a moment and everything lifted. I opened my eyes and I was alone. Confused, I convinced myself that I must have been dreaming but I now had an overwhelming sense of calmness. My worry was completely gone. So I got up and went to work as usual then went the to office the next morning for my procedure. As the doctor started and drew the fluid, he also examined the baby on the ultrasound. I over heard him say that he couldn't find any of the normal markers for babies with Downs Syndrome. I felt myself smile. Then he turned to me and said "She appears to be OK but we won't know anything until the test comes back." The following week was not as difficult as the one before but still it was hard to wait for answers. I couldn't wait to learn of my daughter's fate. The next visit was short and sweet... There was no sign at all of Downs. She was perfect! They were somewhat baffled. They had been checking for the severity not the existence of the disease. I believe that she was sick and that God took it from her that night in my room. I can find no other explanation. Today she is a very athletic, intelligent, healthy little girl full of life and wonder. Isn't God great!!